by Mary Cravets
At the end of 2023, after being at a 7-year income plateau, I dreaded putting together my plan for the new year. Here’s what I did that completely removed the stress for the holidays, then doubled my income the following year!
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by Mary Cravets
I just got back from the ICF Converge conference, and WOW! I had expected to pick up some new ideas, but what I didn’t expect was to come home with a list of lessons that were equal parts insightful and humbling.
Enjoy!
1. You can survive embarrassing yourself. I mean, really embarrassing yourself.
Not the “toilet paper on your shoe” kind – the cringey, make a bad impression in front of people you respect kind.
I went to a session on branding with Lisa Madaschi. Her neuroscience-based take on branding? Fascinating. We just happen to have different views on niche.
I got up to share mine… and then nerves took over. What I meant as a contribution came out sounding cringingly argumentative – maybe even self-promoting.
It was mortifying.
I did follow up with a message to her on LinkedIn, owned it completely, and apologized. She was so gracious about the whole thing.
Here’s what I learned: I can survive embarrassing myself – even in front of people I deeply respect. Even when it feels like my reputation might’ve just taken a hit.
And if making an impact is one of your core values too, you have to survive it. For me, that means forgiving myself quickly and getting back to the work that actually matters.
2. AI is fascinating – and completely distracting.
Let me be clear: I’m not anti-AI. It’s important to stay informed.
But at Converge, it seemed like every other session was about AI.
And while the tech is fascinating, the emphasis was felt way out of proportion to what coaches actually need to grow their businesses. Just like social media, it takes over the conversation – and pulls focus from what’s really important.
AI, like social media, is a tool. It should serve your strategy, not become your strategy. Otherwise, you end up chasing what’s new instead of focusing on what actually helps you reach your goals.
Sustainable growth still comes from strategic clarity, connection, and consistency.
3. A renewed empathy for the awkwardness of networking.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been the “new kid in the cafeteria.” Usually, I walk into events knowing the culture, the players, and at least a dozen people I can wave at from across the room.
But Converge? It was different.
Global scale. Thousands of coaches. And the focus was squarely on the practice of coaching – not the business of it, which is where I tend to live.
For the first two days, I felt like a fish out of water. Then it hit me: this is what my clients feel when I encourage them to attend a networking event or start putting themselves out there.
That experience deepened my empathy. The risk they take isn’t theoretical – it’s real. And the courage it takes to show up in an unfamiliar space deserves to be celebrated every time.
4. When you sponsor an event, have a Plan A… and then about four backups.
I sponsored the coworking space at Converge – great concept, fun design, all the right intentions.
Except… there was no signage pointing people to it.
Combine that with me feeling a bit out of my depth and still cringing from my earlier “branding moment”? Plan A fizzled out fast.
So I created a Plan B (and C… and D). I jumped into morning learning circles, visited sponsor booths, introduced myself to coaching schools, and focused on one thing – connection.
Because of the pivot, I ended up having real conversations, making new contacts, and gaining valuable insights.
The lesson? Sponsorship is a tactic – connection is the strategy.
5. Rephrase instead of repeat.
During her opening keynote, Heather Hansen shared a simple communication tip that instantly stuck:
When you can’t understand someone – especially if they have an accent – instead of asking them to repeat what they said, ask them to rephrase it.
It seems like such a small thing, but it completely changes the energy of the conversation. It removes the awkwardness, helps both people feel understood, and opens the door for genuine connection.
Any tip that helps others feel more understood? It’s a keeper!
Converge, in a Nutshell
The most valuable lessons don’t come from the slides – they come from the awkward moments, the honest conversations, and the magic that happens when you have the courage to keep showing up.
by Mary Cravets
Ever since the change of administration in the United States, social media has been an emotional minefield for me.
But by some blessed quirk of the algorithms, I was served up this video about kindness, cruelty, and intelligence. It was exactly what I needed to hear to soothe my heart and mind.
by Mary Cravets
I had two wonderfully eye-opening conversations recently, and they revealed a pattern that is SO common for coaches: being attracted to (or repelled by) extremes in sales and marketing.
Take a minute to walk through this with me: the extremes, the ensuing drama, and then how to find your genuine path through it all so you’re attracting more clients without the turmoil!
To talk further, you can get on my calendar here.
by Mary Cravets
Mini training time! If you’re succeeding but overwhelmed and racing against the clock every day, you’re going to love this video. Set aside 10 minutes and get ready to take some notes on the 4 keys that will get you through the “messy middle” phase of business!
by Mary Cravets
Close on the heels of compiling 46 Ways to Say No, another option occurred to me. One that actually lets you elevate mediocre opportunities instead of saying no.
You’ll find this most helpful when wrestling with what I call “mixed blessing opportunities”.
For example: let’s say someone offers you the opportunity to speak for a group of your ideal clients (YAY!), but requests a topic that isn’t aligned with your core offerings and you don’t have an existing presentation created (BOO!).
If you say yes, you end up sacrificing your time to create a new presentation just so you can get in front of a great audience. But because you also sacrificed strategy by giving a talk that is off-topic and off-message, the likelihood that you’ll attract new clients is slim.
If you say no, there’s that pinch of regret for a missed opportunity.
So instead of saying YES and damn the consequences, or NO and completely miss out on the opportunity, here is a different way to handle these mixed blessings.
The first thing is to recognize that when someone gives you an opportunity, they are interested in you. Then it’s just a matter of exploring if there is a way to adjust that initial interest so it fully aligns with your business strategy.
To elevate a “meh” opportunity, include the following:
Example:
Thank you so much for the invitation! I would love to present for and serve your group. May I make just one suggestion?
The topic you requested is not one I present on, but I have a talk called More Clients, Less Marketing that – from what I know about your members – would potentially be a great fit. It’s my most popular talk because it’s so interactive with solid tools and take-aways. For groups like yours it has a track record of attracting higher-than-normal attendance.
Would you be open to considering bringing me in to present this topic instead?
Obviously when you embrace this approach, you’ll navigate those “mixed blessing opportunities” more effectively and see better outcomes.
But there’s another benefit. And it’s a biggie.
You’ll start to become a stronger advocate for yourself in every situation.
And that could come in handy, don’t you think?