Stress and Overwhelm

Recently while scrolling in Facebook, I noticed a post from a colleague who had just hired a coach – not just any coach, but one who does almost exactly the same work I do.

My first thought? “I can’t believe she didn’t hire me!”

My second thought? “I can’t believe she didn’t hire me!”

And finally, I got that sick feeling in my stomach and thought, “Oh my goodness, why didn’t she hire me???” I mean, we’d had conversations about some of her challenges with time management and productivity, yet she hired someone else.

So I put on my big girl panties and sent her an email inviting her to chat for a few minutes.

When we jumped onto Zoom, I looked her in the eye and said, “I just have to ask…I saw that you’d hired a coach. What was it that drew you to that coach?”

She looked at me and replied, “I wanted to hire you, but you never asked, so I figured you were too busy!”

OK, so I was mortified.

She is exactly the type of client I love to work with, and I just assumed (silly me!) that when she was ready, she would reach out and ask to work with me.

See, that’s NOT how it works!

So, I’m wondering: what are the questions you haven’t asked, just assuming that people are too busy to help you?

1. Maybe you can ask someone to take your social media posting off your plate to free your time for tasks that are in your Zone of Genius.
2. Maybe you can ask someone to teach you Timular time tracking software so you can find extra pockets of time in your day.
3. Maybe you can ask for someone to help organize your receipts so tax time is a breeze.

The lesson? 

You can’t get what you want if you don’t ask!!

I challenge you today to ask for what you want and need!

By: Lisa Crilley Mallis – Impactive Strategies

A big part of keeping the strategy of speaking gigs running smoothly is to confirm (sometimes more than once) that you have ALL the right details for an event, time, date, venue (aka Zoom link), etc, etc.

 And confirming is very simple… or at least it sounds that way.

 The reality of it is you’re not dealing with a computer that will give you a Yes or No response when you reach out to it. There’s a human being involved… and they won’t always respond the way you expect them to.

 Recently I interacted with an unresponsive event organizer who was not thrilled with our process. After several interactions where we were all getting increasingly frustrated, we mutually decided to cancel the speaking gig. NOT an ideal outcome, and it left me feeling stung.

But my attitude at that point was to put it all behind me, be grateful for the great way Mary and the rest of the team handled the situation and just learn from it.

That is until I got an email from another event organizer on the very same week.

 This organizer didn’t really see the point to filling out the form we use to confirm event details, almost following the script from that last disappointing experience. So, you can imagine why I thought another unfortunate outcome was on its way.

 To make matters worse, after rescheduling a call to explain things for the second time, she finally decided to provide details via  Zoom… but then didn’t show up.

 I was starting to give up hope, but then I decided to use one of the best tools Mary has given me: the power of a short Loom video.

 I recorded a quick video on why the form was important for us to prepare and why it was also helpful for her as an organizer. I sent it and wished for the best.

 The very next day I got the notification that she submitted the form and, to top things off, a very nice email with an apology and just an overall tone that restored my faith in humanity (or at least in event organizers).

 The whole experience was really an eye opener that left me with these 3 takeaways:

1. Assume the best instead of hope for the best. The whole “assume the worst and hope for the best” philosophy  can be dangerous when it starts to determine your expectations. By “hoping for the best” you’re opening the possibility in your mind for something to go wrong, and it sets your brain into that problem solving mode that consumes time and energy… when there isn’t even a problem to solve yet! Assuming the best means truly believing that things will turn out alright, and letting the situation unfold without feeling anxious about the outcome.
2. Let perspective keep you from being on guard. Out of the hundreds of regular, and sometimes very positive, experiences I’ve had with event hosts, I let this single one affect me so much that it actually conditioned my response. At the first glance of trouble I immediately put my shields up. The good will almost always outweigh the bad, but we focus so much on negative feelings we lose perspective and end up getting defensive to protect ourselves from ever feeling that way again.
3. Get yourself a good team and just… laugh it out. I could talk about the importance of a good support system and having someone to count on, but to me one of the biggest parts of having a team of people around you is to be able to look at a crappy situation, do your best to tackle it, and then just crack jokes about it.  There’s nothing like a little sense of humor to let go of frustration and just make the best out of cards you have.

By: Luciana Bottini – Mary’s assistant

It’s Saturday night at 9:18pm. I’m typing this into my iPad on my kitchen counter because inspiration just struck.

When you run your own business, it isn’t orderly. It doesn’t color inside the lines. It rarely runs to an exact timetable.

Some days, it wants to be sluggish and lazy.Other times it wants your nights, your weekends and your sanity.

But you know what? I think we only give up our sanity when we try to get our businesses to be tidy.

Boundaries? Yes.

Standards? Definitely.

A strategic plan? Absolutely.

But tidy? That’s asking a bit much.

Growing a business is an inherently creative process and creativity is a fickle fickle creature. You chase it and try to pen it in and just when you think you’ve got it… everything changes.

But within the mess and the getting from one thing to the next over and over (which feels far from creative) you get these “out of the blue” moments when everything gels and works beautifully. 😌

So, to all the business owners out there bravely surfing through the uncertainty and the mess: embrace your creative wonderful moments and keep striving to make the impact your business was built for. 💙

I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster, trying to sort through an onslaught of thoughts…

Be strategic.

Be positive.

Be real.

Be heartfelt.

Be transparent.

Be direct.

Wrap up deals. Wrap up presents. Lock down California. Cancel holiday plans.

It’s the end of the year and I’m feeling tremendous pressure which turns into…

Analysis paralysis.

But right now I’m experiencing a moment of clarity, so I’m writing down what I personally need to do to close the year strategically and with my sanity intact:

1. Break a sweat. Yep. Exercise.

2. Brain dump. When my head is swirling with ideas, dumping them all out on paper – messy and massive – takes my stress down tremendously.

3. Focus on what you CAN do. Look at the brain dump and figure out what you can control and what you can’t.

4. Time block to get it done. Take what you CAN do and reserve time blocks in your calendar to do it.

5. Go with your gut. If you could see the real-time writing of this, you would crack up. Right after I wrote that, I thought, “Should I write that? (delete delete delete) Or wait… maybe I should include it. What if people don’t understand what I mean. Should I explain?”  I’m leaving it in, because it’s something I need to remember, and the ensuing story is pretty hilarious.

Good luck with the rest of your year. I’ll be back here writing again shortly – being strategic, positive, real, heartfelt, transparent and direct.