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Stress and Overwhelm

[Guest Post] Lessons learned from the 2008 Global Financial Crisis – and How They Apply Today

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Contributed by: Jane Garee, Sales Strategist

I knew the world economic free fall of 2008 would come back to haunt me but I am more grateful for it than I can say.

In 2008, I was in the thick of the financial meltdown.  I was enjoying a successful career as a mortgage broker, in south Florida, and between the warm sunny days, doing work that I felt mattered and the life I had created over the past eleven years, I felt as if the world was my oyster.

Then it happened.  The crash of ’08.

Or as I later described the situation; the market crashed and then I crashed with it.

I lost everything and moved from my initial state of shock to one of utter despair.  It was years before I was able to turn things around and it was the most challenging period of my life.

I made a promise to myself that when I regained my footing, I would remember the lessons that period of time had given me, and that I would use that one day to help others.

I don’t know what you’re experiencing in the midst of what’s going on in our world currently. For me, it’s a strange time because there is much I am personally thankful for, and there is still the reality of what’s happening.

Frankly, there are days when I feel guilty for thriving right now, when others are struggling to survive.  I keep looking for ways to do what I can to provide support and am grateful that my business allows me to have the time and resources to contribute, even if it is small on the grand scale of creating change.

I wish I could give you some sort of bumper sticker wisdom that would make everything okay.

You know, “This too will pass”, “Tough times make tough people”, “’ Your true colors are showing’ used to mean your disposition, now it’s about your hair” (okay, I made that up to insert some levity).

I know I can’t say anything to magically make things better. However, I do want to share with you three coping strategies I learned during the fallout of 2008.

The power is in the present

One of the most life-changing mind shifts for me, was when I realized that in this moment, I am okay.  If you focus on right now, all your basic needs are being met, there’s no threat of imminent danger, you have people who love and support you, and you are alive, with a mind and body that works.  Stress comes from dredging up the past or worrying about the future.  Neither is productive.  The past is gone, and you don’t really know what the future holds.  Take a deep breath and be grateful for right now.  Miracles are called miracles because they are unexpected.  Yours might be coming this very day.

Redefine your long-term plan

You may have realized that planning for what’s next is something you’ve taken for granted.  Since you don’t know what will be true in the future, redefining your long-term plan to something more manageable can be helpful.

When I was struggling in 2008, my Dad told me that I needed to redefine what long term planning was and that a good long-term plan due to current circumstances, might be getting through that day.  That helped me get through the pain and uncertainty by setting a goal that seemed infinitely easier to accomplish than a vague, “I will get through this.” On really bad days, I would often say to myself, “My long- term plan is to just get through the next fifteen minutes.”   Savoring small chunks of victory can help fuel you to keep going.

Disappointment is not discouragement

It can be soul-crushing when experiencing traumatic events and being in a situation that is out of your control.  The fear, pain and sadness are real, and it’s profound.

Although disappointments in life are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.

Discouragement is the false belief that everything is hopeless, and you are unable to do anything about your situation.  While hope may not be a plan, it is the thing that drives you to get up and keep going.

Discouragement loves nothing more than to tell you there is no hope, and that you are a victim, tossed around by the cruel winds of life.  Even when you can’t immediately change your circumstances, the hope that you can, is what will keep you going.  There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope.”  On my darkest days, I would ponder that.  If you’re truly a prisoner, there’s no escape. What would it be like to be unable to escape from hope?

My hope for you is that today, just for a moment, you take in that moment and not let any disappointment turn into discouragement.  Unsettling times like these can also lead to big mood swings so if you’re having a day where the future feels full of promise, reach out to someone who isn’t and see how you can be an encouragement.

I normally end my posts with, “To your selling success” but today, I want to close with,

To your success, and in all the ways that truly matter,

Jane

Jane Garee, known as “The Sales Strategist for the Non Sales Person” works with clients so they serve more people, make more money and realize their biggest dreams through their impact and influence, all while having FUN.

With over twenty years of sales production, sales training and sales team management experience, Jane is an award-winning salesperson, known for breaking revenue records and providing leadership and training to individuals and sales teams so they do the same. Prior to striking out on her own, she quickly worked her way up the ranks to Brand/Area Sales Manager with two different billion-dollar companies and was recruited to open the South Florida area for one of Inc 500’s Fastest Growing Companies.

Her dynamic and comprehensive sales background in one-on one sales conversations, copy writing, workshops and selling through speaking presentations bring exceptional knowledge and expertise to clients who desire a collaborative partner in creating higher conversions and building better buyer relationships throughout the entire sales process.

The 5 Phases We’re All Going Through Right Now

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It’s been amazing and awful to cycle through being scared then creative then challenged then connected… and back around to scared again.

This rapid-fire cycling has made me SO much more intentional about getting support and connection from my community (the Watch Us Thrive calls are the best example of this)!

Through these connections, I noticed a very consistent pattern: 5 distinct phases that business owners are going through. The time frame for each phase is different for everyone, and the phases don’t necessarily occur in this exact order.

Phase 1: Abject Terror
Oh @#$%&! This is no joke, it’s not China’s problem, it’s actually here. The economic impact is going be staggering. My business will never survive. No one is buying anything. Ever again.

You freak out, become paralyzed and may be eating potato chips dipped into a chocolate milkshake. You have difficulty breathing, sleeping, and keeping your mind off toilet paper. Nothing productive happens during this phase.

Phase 2: Panic in Motion
You realize you’ve got to get off the couch, but can’t seem to stop arguing with people on social media or refreshing websites looking at COVID-19 graphs. Refreshing, refreshing, refreshing… WAIT – I gotta get to work!

You waffle back and forth, “Can I position myself to benefit from this? Wait – oh ick! NO! I can’t capitalize on this. But I’m helping people, right? Will they think I’m being opportunistic?”

More chips. More milkshakes. An emotional roller coaster that takes you, minute by minute, from feeling mildly hopeful to dipping into the desperation of, “We’re screwed forever… what’s the point of doing anything?”

Phase 3: Channeling “The Dude”*
Hey man, it’s cool, I have no control over this. I’ve pretty much been ordered to stay home, and it seems like no one is doing business anyway, so… maybe I’ll do some gardening. Or watch Pride and Prejudice (the 6-hour BBC version) at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. And then go for a walk.

I’m going to treat this kind of like a vacation.

This is ok. I mean it sucks, but maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me to slow down, right?

* The Dude is a waaaayyy chill aging hippie from the movie The Big Lebowski.

Phase 4: Productivity Overkill
THIS! This is the opportunity in the crisis! Yes! It all has meaning now.

I am NOT going to waste this time. I’ve been wanting to start my podcast and write my book. I’m going to take this time and do both. (I mean it is kind of weird how it’s harder to get things done even though my schedule is so open.)

So… ok, I’m going to frame the family pictures, start making bread, develop an online mastermind, can my own veggies, plant a garden, organize weekly Zoom calls for my family and create an online course while losing 20 pounds.

Oh thank goodness! I’ve worked myself into the normal over-scheduled pace I’m used to.

Phase 5: Settling into Your New Reality
You realize, this is how it’s going to be for a while, so you focus on figuring out new routines. How to work out at home, find alone time even though the kids are around, get work done.

Born out of necessity, you start to get creative. Solving problems you’ve been stewing on for months or even years. Collaborating with others because you’re craving connection.

Fears still crop up, but more often than not you see where you can be serving and thriving and simply running your damn business through the chaos.

Run Your Damn Business

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I am SO turned off by opportunism being passed off as “service” that I actually stopped marketing my business. But…

The income of my household depends on my business, so I’m not really in a position to NOT promote my business.

After a long week of ping-ponging between crying and laughing and paralysis and singing “I Will Survive”…

I wrote myself a letter.

Dear Mary,

Run your damn business.

Your services are valuable. They are no less valuable today than they were a week ago. No less relevant.

It’s not opportunistic to flip over the “Open for Business” sign and run your damn business.

Will everyone like it? No. Will everyone like YOU? No. (just like every other day of the year!)

But what does stopping accomplish? Who will be served if you cringe in fear of being criticized? Or worry about what might happen?

Maybe you’ll have to do a little more. Almost certainly you’ll have to do things differently.

But you won’t discover what needs to be changed unless you get your ass moving.

Worry and fears may crop up, but the Pity Party is officially OVER.

It’s time to run your damn business.

I love you,
Mary

Prague Blog, Part 2: The Big Aha

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Here’s the aha: I’ve been exhausting myself aiming for huge goals that I don’t care about.

During my month in Prague, I read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fig* by Mark Manson. The timing of the book was excellent because I was pretty worn out by navigating in a foreign country and my defenses were down.

I got to the chapter of the book titled “You Are Not Special,” and read the following passage:

“The ticket to emotional health, like that to physical health, comes from eating your veggies – that is, accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: truths such as “Your actions actually don’t matter that much in the grand scheme  of things” and “The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s ok.” This vegetable course will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it.

But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, the constant pressure to is something amazing, to be the next big thing will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of always feeling inadequate and constantly needing to prove yourself will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations.”

And it was like a weight had been lifted. Because somewhere along the line I had started taking on elements of other people’s visions of grand exceptionalism.

People like Gary Vaynerchuk, Brad Burchard, Tony Robbins. (people I don’t care about)

Visions of luxury world tours and millions and mansions. (visions I don’t care about)

Lifestyles of hustle and glittering peak performance and nonstop stratospheric achievement. (lifestyles I don’t care about)

I was exhausted by how high the bar was set… and it wasn’t even my bar!

I have a very specific vision for my business. A vision that aligns with my values. A vision of work that positively impacts the lives of others. Work that allows me to earn exactly the money to live in a nice home, eat good food, be with my family, travel, have savings and retirement.

I suppose it’s not terribly exciting, but when I sit with it – without comparison to others – I quite like it. I feel relaxed. So…

Why don’t I simply make a difference to the people I can reach easily? Why don’t I just keep doing what’s working? How about instead of doing more, I just do what I do now, but a little better and more focused? Why don’t I relax a little and enjoy the journey?

TRUST.

My vision is good enough.

My efforts are good enough.

My heart is good enough.

Trust my vision.

Trust my efforts.

Trust my heart.

Trust myself.

* My mother reads my blog and despises swearing, so I’ve prioritized her preference above using the real title the author gave the book.

NOTE: I found my extended trip overseas so impactful that I’m doing it again (this time in Ireland) and am taking a small group with me for a  Daring Moves Retreat.  Email me if you’d like the program details!

“Toothpaste on my contact lenses.”

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Happy Holidays, my friend! eggnog-no-soul
 
I’m still chuckling after telling a client I was being pulled in a million different directions, to which she replied…
 
“I know the feeling. This morning I almost put toothpaste on my contact lenses.”
 
I just cracked up.
 

This is a busy time of year for everyone, and for entrepreneurs it’s even more intense with so many things fighting for your attention.

Here are a few ideas to help keep your spirit bright and your priorities in focus:

    1. Go to a party and limit business talk. Give your brain a break and just have fun and laugh.
    2. Keep investing focused attention on your business. It’s easy to say, “The heck with it. It’s the holidays. I’ll just coast into the New Year and start over.” Decide on your most important activities, and continue to implement so you start 2017 strong, rather than having to start over.
    3. Appreciate the status quo. We rarely appreciate the days when we don’t have a cold, or when a loved one is alive, or when everything is just normal. With so many bad and sad things that can happen in the blink of an eye, be grateful – even for just a healthy, uneventful day.
    4. Take time to do something meaningful. You started a business so you could live life on your terms, so get out there and live it.
    5. Ask for help. You do not have to bake ALL the cookies, house ALL the guests, or take care of ALL of your business all by yourself. Lighten your load and reach out for support.
    6. Consider your health. Stress is aggravated by sugar, dehydration, lack of exercise and poor sleep. Take time to nurture yourself at the most basic level.
    7. Do something now that will have a significant impact on 2017. Join a gym, raise your prices, plan a tropical vacation. Make 2017 a year to look forward to.

With much love and gratitude,

Mary

P.S. A big thank you to Dara Lurie for giving me such a killer subject line!

Smile When They Call You Sleazy

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Here’s one thing they don’t tell you when you start a business: you will be criticized.thank-you

You’ll be criticized by well-meaning friends and family who don’t want to see you hurt or disappointed.

You’ll be criticized by competitors who want you to stay out of the game so they don’t feel threatened.

Worst of all, you’ll be criticized by random strangers who don’t know you, but think you should be playing by their rules, not yours.

It is tough some days, I won’t lie. And although I’ve developed a thicker skin over the years, it still hurts.

Of all things, I was called “sleazy” recently. After a few minutes of hurt and worry, I smiled.

Because I’ve received all sorts of criticism over the years, and have built up a kind of routine for dealing with it. And I know that, from past experience, criticism is a herald of good things to come.

Here’s the formula for dealing with critics:

Have compassion. Critics are afraid: afraid to hope, afraid to fail, afraid to get screwed over, afraid of success… and the list goes on forever. When people take shots at you, they are simply scared. Be graceful, be kind, be understanding. Then let them go, and move on.

Center yourself. When criticism throws you for a loop, get clear about why you do what you do. It’s all about making a positive impact. A positive impact on others, your family, your finances, your freedom. When you re-center yourself on your vision and what is most important to you, the force of criticism diminishes significantly.

Have a sense of humor. Because, let’s face it, the life of the entrepreneur is pretty hilarious. We’ll work 60 hours a week for a roller coaster income in order to be “free” from a 40-hour a week job with a steady paycheck. People who criticize are often hitting a nerve we’ve be unable to laugh at (yet). Take yourself too seriously, and criticism can destroy you.

Look for the opportunity. Ask yourself, “Is there any truth to this criticism? What can I learn from this? Is it simply to persevere with grace? Or is there something good that can come of this? A blog? A book title?” Don’t change everything in response to criticism… that’s the worst thing you can do. But the second worst thing is to refuse to be open to the opportunities it offers.

Know good things are on their way. When criticism comes, a growth spurt generally follows. The criticism is kind of like a test. It’s the energy of Entrepreneurship tapping you on the shoulder and whispering to you, “It’s rough out there, and people will push your buttons and pull you down when they get the chance. Do you have what it takes? Are you willing to take the abuse with the rewards?” In my career took about 5 years of ups and downs (and pity parties when someone threw rotten tomatoes) to recognize this pattern, but it has held true.

So when someone calls you pushy, or greedy, or too big for your britches. Or (god forbid) sleazy… just smile. Be kind and laugh. Recommit to your vision and look for the opportunity. And believe, down to your toes, that good things are coming your way.