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Stress and Overwhelm

That ONE bad experience

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A big part of keeping the strategy of speaking gigs running smoothly is to confirm (sometimes more than once) that you have ALL the right details for an event, time, date, venue (aka Zoom link), etc, etc.

 And confirming is very simple… or at least it sounds that way.

 The reality of it is you’re not dealing with a computer that will give you a Yes or No response when you reach out to it. There’s a human being involved… and they won’t always respond the way you expect them to.

 Recently I interacted with an unresponsive event organizer who was not thrilled with our process. After several interactions where we were all getting increasingly frustrated, we mutually decided to cancel the speaking gig. NOT an ideal outcome, and it left me feeling stung.

But my attitude at that point was to put it all behind me, be grateful for the great way Mary and the rest of the team handled the situation and just learn from it.

That is until I got an email from another event organizer on the very same week.

 This organizer didn’t really see the point to filling out the form we use to confirm event details, almost following the script from that last disappointing experience. So, you can imagine why I thought another unfortunate outcome was on its way.

 To make matters worse, after rescheduling a call to explain things for the second time, she finally decided to provide details via  Zoom… but then didn’t show up.

 I was starting to give up hope, but then I decided to use one of the best tools Mary has given me: the power of a short Loom video.

 I recorded a quick video on why the form was important for us to prepare and why it was also helpful for her as an organizer. I sent it and wished for the best.

 The very next day I got the notification that she submitted the form and, to top things off, a very nice email with an apology and just an overall tone that restored my faith in humanity (or at least in event organizers).

 The whole experience was really an eye opener that left me with these 3 takeaways:

  1. Assume the best instead of hope for the best. The whole “assume the worst and hope for the best” philosophy  can be dangerous when it starts to determine your expectations. By “hoping for the best” you’re opening the possibility in your mind for something to go wrong, and it sets your brain into that problem solving mode that consumes time and energy… when there isn’t even a problem to solve yet! Assuming the best means truly believing that things will turn out alright, and letting the situation unfold without feeling anxious about the outcome.
  2. Let perspective keep you from being on guard. Out of the hundreds of regular, and sometimes very positive, experiences I’ve had with event hosts, I let this single one affect me so much that it actually conditioned my response. At the first glance of trouble I immediately put my shields up. The good will almost always outweigh the bad, but we focus so much on negative feelings we lose perspective and end up getting defensive to protect ourselves from ever feeling that way again.
  3. Get yourself a good team and just… laugh it out. I could talk about the importance of a good support system and having someone to count on, but to me one of the biggest parts of having a team of people around you is to be able to look at a crappy situation, do your best to tackle it, and then just crack jokes about it.  There’s nothing like a little sense of humor to let go of frustration and just make the best out of cards you have.

By: Luciana Bottini – Mary’s assistant

When it’s Taking Your Nights, Weekends and Sanity

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It’s Saturday night at 9:18pm. I’m typing this into my iPad on my kitchen counter because inspiration just struck.

When you run your own business, it isn’t orderly. It doesn’t color inside the lines. It rarely runs to an exact timetable.

Some days, it wants to be sluggish and lazy.Other times it wants your nights, your weekends and your sanity.

But you know what? I think we only give up our sanity when we try to get our businesses to be tidy.

Boundaries? Yes.

Standards? Definitely.

A strategic plan? Absolutely.

But tidy? That’s asking a bit much.

Growing a business is an inherently creative process and creativity is a fickle fickle creature. You chase it and try to pen it in and just when you think you’ve got it… everything changes.

But within the mess and the getting from one thing to the next over and over (which feels far from creative) you get these “out of the blue” moments when everything gels and works beautifully. 😌

So, to all the business owners out there bravely surfing through the uncertainty and the mess: embrace your creative wonderful moments and keep striving to make the impact your business was built for. 💙

‘Tis the Season for Analysis Paralysis

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I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster, trying to sort through an onslaught of thoughts…

Be strategic.

Be positive.

Be real.

Be heartfelt.

Be transparent.

Be direct.

Wrap up deals. Wrap up presents. Lock down California. Cancel holiday plans.

It’s the end of the year and I’m feeling tremendous pressure which turns into…

Analysis paralysis.

But right now I’m experiencing a moment of clarity, so I’m writing down what I personally need to do to close the year strategically and with my sanity intact:

1. Break a sweat. Yep. Exercise.

2. Brain dump. When my head is swirling with ideas, dumping them all out on paper – messy and massive – takes my stress down tremendously.

3. Focus on what you CAN do. Look at the brain dump and figure out what you can control and what you can’t.

4. Time block to get it done. Take what you CAN do and reserve time blocks in your calendar to do it.

5. Go with your gut. If you could see the real-time writing of this, you would crack up. Right after I wrote that, I thought, “Should I write that? (delete delete delete) Or wait… maybe I should include it. What if people don’t understand what I mean. Should I explain?” 😊 I’m leaving it in, because it’s something I need to remember, and the ensuing story is pretty hilarious.

Good luck with the rest of your year. I’ll be back here writing again shortly – being strategic, positive, real, heartfelt, transparent and direct. ❤

[Guest Post] Lessons learned from the 2008 Global Financial Crisis – and How They Apply Today

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Contributed by: Jane Garee, Sales Strategist

I knew the world economic free fall of 2008 would come back to haunt me but I am more grateful for it than I can say.

In 2008, I was in the thick of the financial meltdown.  I was enjoying a successful career as a mortgage broker, in south Florida, and between the warm sunny days, doing work that I felt mattered and the life I had created over the past eleven years, I felt as if the world was my oyster.

Then it happened.  The crash of ’08.

Or as I later described the situation; the market crashed and then I crashed with it.

I lost everything and moved from my initial state of shock to one of utter despair.  It was years before I was able to turn things around and it was the most challenging period of my life.

I made a promise to myself that when I regained my footing, I would remember the lessons that period of time had given me, and that I would use that one day to help others.

I don’t know what you’re experiencing in the midst of what’s going on in our world currently. For me, it’s a strange time because there is much I am personally thankful for, and there is still the reality of what’s happening.

Frankly, there are days when I feel guilty for thriving right now, when others are struggling to survive.  I keep looking for ways to do what I can to provide support and am grateful that my business allows me to have the time and resources to contribute, even if it is small on the grand scale of creating change.

I wish I could give you some sort of bumper sticker wisdom that would make everything okay.

You know, “This too will pass”, “Tough times make tough people”, “’ Your true colors are showing’ used to mean your disposition, now it’s about your hair” (okay, I made that up to insert some levity).

I know I can’t say anything to magically make things better. However, I do want to share with you three coping strategies I learned during the fallout of 2008.

The power is in the present

One of the most life-changing mind shifts for me, was when I realized that in this moment, I am okay.  If you focus on right now, all your basic needs are being met, there’s no threat of imminent danger, you have people who love and support you, and you are alive, with a mind and body that works.  Stress comes from dredging up the past or worrying about the future.  Neither is productive.  The past is gone, and you don’t really know what the future holds.  Take a deep breath and be grateful for right now.  Miracles are called miracles because they are unexpected.  Yours might be coming this very day.

Redefine your long-term plan

You may have realized that planning for what’s next is something you’ve taken for granted.  Since you don’t know what will be true in the future, redefining your long-term plan to something more manageable can be helpful.

When I was struggling in 2008, my Dad told me that I needed to redefine what long term planning was and that a good long-term plan due to current circumstances, might be getting through that day.  That helped me get through the pain and uncertainty by setting a goal that seemed infinitely easier to accomplish than a vague, “I will get through this.” On really bad days, I would often say to myself, “My long- term plan is to just get through the next fifteen minutes.”   Savoring small chunks of victory can help fuel you to keep going.

Disappointment is not discouragement

It can be soul-crushing when experiencing traumatic events and being in a situation that is out of your control.  The fear, pain and sadness are real, and it’s profound.

Although disappointments in life are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.

Discouragement is the false belief that everything is hopeless, and you are unable to do anything about your situation.  While hope may not be a plan, it is the thing that drives you to get up and keep going.

Discouragement loves nothing more than to tell you there is no hope, and that you are a victim, tossed around by the cruel winds of life.  Even when you can’t immediately change your circumstances, the hope that you can, is what will keep you going.  There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope.”  On my darkest days, I would ponder that.  If you’re truly a prisoner, there’s no escape. What would it be like to be unable to escape from hope?

My hope for you is that today, just for a moment, you take in that moment and not let any disappointment turn into discouragement.  Unsettling times like these can also lead to big mood swings so if you’re having a day where the future feels full of promise, reach out to someone who isn’t and see how you can be an encouragement.

I normally end my posts with, “To your selling success” but today, I want to close with,

To your success, and in all the ways that truly matter,

Jane

Jane Garee, known as “The Sales Strategist for the Non Sales Person” works with clients so they serve more people, make more money and realize their biggest dreams through their impact and influence, all while having FUN.

With over twenty years of sales production, sales training and sales team management experience, Jane is an award-winning salesperson, known for breaking revenue records and providing leadership and training to individuals and sales teams so they do the same. Prior to striking out on her own, she quickly worked her way up the ranks to Brand/Area Sales Manager with two different billion-dollar companies and was recruited to open the South Florida area for one of Inc 500’s Fastest Growing Companies.

Her dynamic and comprehensive sales background in one-on one sales conversations, copy writing, workshops and selling through speaking presentations bring exceptional knowledge and expertise to clients who desire a collaborative partner in creating higher conversions and building better buyer relationships throughout the entire sales process.

The 5 Phases We’re All Going Through Right Now

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It’s been amazing and awful to cycle through being scared then creative then challenged then connected… and back around to scared again.

This rapid-fire cycling has made me SO much more intentional about getting support and connection from my community (the Watch Us Thrive calls are the best example of this)!

Through these connections, I noticed a very consistent pattern: 5 distinct phases that business owners are going through. The time frame for each phase is different for everyone, and the phases don’t necessarily occur in this exact order.

Phase 1: Abject Terror
Oh @#$%&! This is no joke, it’s not China’s problem, it’s actually here. The economic impact is going be staggering. My business will never survive. No one is buying anything. Ever again.

You freak out, become paralyzed and may be eating potato chips dipped into a chocolate milkshake. You have difficulty breathing, sleeping, and keeping your mind off toilet paper. Nothing productive happens during this phase.

Phase 2: Panic in Motion
You realize you’ve got to get off the couch, but can’t seem to stop arguing with people on social media or refreshing websites looking at COVID-19 graphs. Refreshing, refreshing, refreshing… WAIT – I gotta get to work!

You waffle back and forth, “Can I position myself to benefit from this? Wait – oh ick! NO! I can’t capitalize on this. But I’m helping people, right? Will they think I’m being opportunistic?”

More chips. More milkshakes. An emotional roller coaster that takes you, minute by minute, from feeling mildly hopeful to dipping into the desperation of, “We’re screwed forever… what’s the point of doing anything?”

Phase 3: Channeling “The Dude”*
Hey man, it’s cool, I have no control over this. I’ve pretty much been ordered to stay home, and it seems like no one is doing business anyway, so… maybe I’ll do some gardening. Or watch Pride and Prejudice (the 6-hour BBC version) at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. And then go for a walk.

I’m going to treat this kind of like a vacation.

This is ok. I mean it sucks, but maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me to slow down, right?

* The Dude is a waaaayyy chill aging hippie from the movie The Big Lebowski.

Phase 4: Productivity Overkill
THIS! This is the opportunity in the crisis! Yes! It all has meaning now.

I am NOT going to waste this time. I’ve been wanting to start my podcast and write my book. I’m going to take this time and do both. (I mean it is kind of weird how it’s harder to get things done even though my schedule is so open.)

So… ok, I’m going to frame the family pictures, start making bread, develop an online mastermind, can my own veggies, plant a garden, organize weekly Zoom calls for my family and create an online course while losing 20 pounds.

Oh thank goodness! I’ve worked myself into the normal over-scheduled pace I’m used to.

Phase 5: Settling into Your New Reality
You realize, this is how it’s going to be for a while, so you focus on figuring out new routines. How to work out at home, find alone time even though the kids are around, get work done.

Born out of necessity, you start to get creative. Solving problems you’ve been stewing on for months or even years. Collaborating with others because you’re craving connection.

Fears still crop up, but more often than not you see where you can be serving and thriving and simply running your damn business through the chaos.

Run Your Damn Business

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I am SO turned off by opportunism being passed off as “service” that I actually stopped marketing my business. But…

The income of my household depends on my business, so I’m not really in a position to NOT promote my business.

After a long week of ping-ponging between crying and laughing and paralysis and singing “I Will Survive”…

I wrote myself a letter.

Dear Mary,

Run your damn business.

Your services are valuable. They are no less valuable today than they were a week ago. No less relevant.

It’s not opportunistic to flip over the “Open for Business” sign and run your damn business.

Will everyone like it? No. Will everyone like YOU? No. (just like every other day of the year!)

But what does stopping accomplish? Who will be served if you cringe in fear of being criticized? Or worry about what might happen?

Maybe you’ll have to do a little more. Almost certainly you’ll have to do things differently.

But you won’t discover what needs to be changed unless you get your ass moving.

Worry and fears may crop up, but the Pity Party is officially OVER.

It’s time to run your damn business.

I love you,
Mary