Cure a Crowded Calendar: 46 Ways to Say NO 

At the end of each year, I look ahead and strategize ways to make sure I don’t overload my calendar and spread myself too thin.

This year the answer came through loud and clear: say NO to substandard opportunities.

​​I ran this by a few of my peers and the response was a resounding, “Yesssssss… but how do I do that?”

Because the truth is, you need an arsenal of “no” responses to handle the wide variety of situations you encounter on a daily basis. So I compiled a list of suggestions (including unexpected but appreciated neurodivergent perspectives) from my online community in order to support you to say no to any substandard opportunities that come your way. I’ve left in duplicates for emphasis!

First, a Little Fun

1. Janet: 🤣 

2. Diane: Write “no” across the top of your calendar for every day of the week. Tell the person asking you to do the favor “just a minute, I have to check my calendar”. Come back and say, “I’m sorry but my calendar says no.” 😂

3. Mary Sue: Unfortunately, I can’t take on any unpaid work to help you make money at this time. Thanks for thinking of me though.

Direct, Brief Responses

4. Tina: No. I use it just as it is.

5. Heather: No.

6. Kathy: NO

7. Lisa: No. 🤪🤪✊

8. Kimble: Nope.

9. Eric: Nope.

10.  Gioia: It seems to me that “No” is simple and to the point. There is no need to say anything more.

11.  Kelley: It’s in the delivery. Breathe so you’re grounded. And then let it come from your heart. And if you really want no objection, make it about how you feel. Nobody can argue with how you feel.

Work or Commitment Requests

Stella:

12.  That’s not a priority for me right now.

13.  I’m not interested at this time.

14.  That doesn’t work for me at the moment.

15.  I’m not in a spot to say yes right now.

16.  I’d love to help out where it makes sense, but this seems out of scope for me at the moment.

17.  I don’t have the bandwidth to take on anything new right now.

18.  I’m really prioritizing my mental health and wellbeing right now.

19.  I’m downsizing my commitments for next year in order to have a more sustainable work-life balance.

20.  I promised myself I’d say no to things that don’t light me up.

21.  I recognize the need, but I don’t know that I’m the one to fill it.

Neurodivergent Perspectives

22.  Dave: As a busy and neurodivergent person, anything other than short and sweet gets intuitively processed as unclear or a “maybe.” Folks need to put effort in for me not to understand a clear no as anything but kind. I’m grateful for: No, Not now, Another time (I may try to set that up), A referral.

23.  Heather: My son is autistic and has a particular flavor that doesn’t respond to no – and I think that opens up an entire other conversation too. His teachers every year would be like; “we will teach him” and mid-year they are like “ok, we concede, he doesn’t register no and cannot accept it” and I’m like yep- welcome to the party.

24.  Brooke: I’m an ADHDer and I am so, so grateful when people speak plainly and directly. I simply do not understand indirect communication styles. So, yes, if you mean “no” please just say “no”.

Personal or Social Situations

25.  Jim: Please don’t waste your time, this isn’t going to happen. (Persistent missionaries at the doorstep)

26.  Amy: When my then boyfriend / now husband was moving too fast in our early days: “Let’s save that for later.” We still talk about that 😊

27.  Melanie: I appreciate your ….. this phrasing also works instead of saying I’m sorry….. It turns it into asking them to understand rather than you apologizing.

28.  Jamie: Since my toddler no longer hears NO… I say – that’s not an option right now. Might work on adults who also don’t hear the word no (aka parents or siblings).

No with Appreciation

29.  Linda: Thank you for asking but my answer must be no.

30.  Carolyn: “Thank you for understanding that I just don’t have the capacity to say yes (or room on my plate or my plate already runneth over, etc…).” Use ‘thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’ when declining.

31.  Shanna: Thank you but no. Good luck on your search.

32.  Kathleen: “I cannot say yes, but thanks for asking.”

33.  Andrea: I’m not comfortable with that right now. I’m sure you understand.

34.  Lisa: Thank you for asking, I truly am flattered. However, I must decline. I don’t have the capacity at this time to do your request justice.

35.  Lorie: Thank you for reaching out. I’m not able to help right now but I appreciate you thinking of me!

36.  Cindy: Thanks for asking. I don’t think I’m the right fit for this right now. Might I suggest…. (someone else who could do the job).

37.  Ashley: It sounds like an awesome opportunity but I’m overextended for the foreseeable future.

Kristen: I like to share that I have no capacity…

38.  I do not have capacity for anything new and don’t foresee that changing anytime soon.

39.  I appreciate you asking and I don’t have capacity for that.

40.  I am already overwhelmed with so much going on, I am going to have to say no.

41.  I am behind on other projects right now and I like to keep my commitments so I am not making any more.

42.  I am going to have to say no to stay in integrity with myself.

43.  Lelia: No…it works every time. No need for reasons why. You can always add, thank you for thinking of me

44.  Claire: I hear you and thank you, but the answer has to be no

45.  Cindy: Thank you for asking but I must decline.

Firm Responses

46.  Jim: A lot of responses from nice people that probably don’t have a lot of sales experience. The persistent salesperson has heard it all. Too many words just have them waiting to pounce. You need to punch them squarely in the nose. Nicely. ‘Not happening’ No rationalization or justification. Blam. Give them no hope you might engage. They will appreciate it and move on. You’re being nice.

Special thanks to Big Impact Business Owners and Coaches Creating CommUnity for their generous and thoughtful contributions to this list.