freedom

How She Wrote 5 Books

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Several years ago, I had the pleasure of consulting with a wonderful woman named Lakota.  When we began our consultation, she had three primary activities that occupied her time. She wanted to determine how she could best utilize her time to make these successful and meaningful.

As we worked together, it became clear that one of her activities was not in alignment with her goals, and was also emotionally taxing, pulling energy from other areas of her life.  Together we determined she should phase out the most stressful activity, leaving more time to focus on other valuable things. With a newly aligned course of action, Lakota took steps in a direction more to her liking.

For the next four years, she devoted much of her newfound time to her passion for writing. I happen to know that throughout those years she still faced serious adversity— she wasn’t just holed up peacefully writing in a cabin in the woods! Despite the adversity, she continued writing, and today I’m happy to report that Lakota has created not one but FIVE novels! Her books are slated for publication over the next 18 months, beginning with her first mystery novel, Death in Copper Town.

In a recent email, she wrote me to express her profound thanks for offering clarity and helping her succeed at this accomplishment. I’m so proud of Lakota’s drive to pursue her goals, first by asking for some guidance to find the right path, and then by persevering with her passions! She’s achieved a great win over the last four years.  What win are you willing to spend years to achieve?

If you’d like to draw inspiration from Lakota’s win, check out Death in Copper Town, available now on Amazon!

Get Your Freedom Back with This One Tip

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Get your freedom backOver the past few weeks, several clients and colleagues came to me and said, “I was invited to a meeting with [insert name here] and I’m not sure why we’re meeting.”

I was FLOORED. I know how busy entrepreneurs are. I know how much they value their freedom… how can they afford to take meetings with no clear purpose? And why would they?

In-person meetings take a serious investment of your time, so you must make that investment intentionally. When you invest in the wrong meetings, it wastes hours of your time, creates serious frustration, and keeps you frantic.

The key to investing wisely is to learn how to gracefully say no. Easier said than done, right? Here are a few tips I use to directly and politely say no to unnecessary meetings:

First, don’t automatically say yes to in-person meeting requests! When you receive a request, take a moment to evaluate whether or not there is a clear reason for you to take the time to meet.

Next, clarify the reason for the meeting. For example:

Thanks so much for reaching out to me! So I am clear, what are you hoping to accomplish during our meeting?

Thanks for suggesting we collaborate. Before we meet, what do you have in mind?

I appreciate you thinking of me. What do you want to discuss during our meeting?

Say no thank you or suggest an alternative.

Believe it or not, many times when I’ve asked for clarification, the requester simply does not reply and the issue resolves itself. However if they do reply, here are some diplomatic ways to either say no or suggest a less time-consuming alternative.

Thanks for clarifying. From what you describe, it sounds like what you’re looking to accomplish doesn’t really align with what I’m doing. I appreciate you thinking of me, and I’ll have to pass now.

Great, thanks for the details. I’d love to have this conversation with you, and I’d prefer to meet over the phone. Is that something you’d be open to? For a conversation like this, I find the phone saves us both a ton of time spent on driving.

I’d love to meet, and I’m not available for an in-person meeting for the next three weeks. Would you mind following up with me then?

The most important thing is to say what you mean.

If you are going to keep clear boundaries and consciously invest your time in only the most important things, do not say you’re open to meeting at a later date if you really want to say no. It will definitely come back to bite you!

And here’s the thing: you are not helping anyone by agreeing to do things you don’t want to do. Saying yes to an obligation that aggravates you prevents the requester from finding someone who would actually be excited about the opportunity. Sometimes saying no to someone is the best gift we can give them… not to mention, ourselves!

Three Ways to Make the Impossible Work FOR You

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Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 1.04.08 PM“What have you decided is impossible?”

This is the question I asked an audience of entrepreneurs recently, and was delighted by the responses. The “impossible” answers started out as limitations, but quickly blossomed into:

  1. Creation of healthy boundaries. “It’s impossible to do it all myself.” This was shared by a business owner who realized this impossibility early in her business. It spurred her to action to find support people to help with her responsibilities as a wife, mother and entrepreneur.
  2. Release of self-judgment. “It’s impossible for me to be a litigator.” An experienced estate-planning attorney voiced this in an apologetic tone, as if litigation was the only truly credible law specialty. By saying this out loud, she realized her false assumption, and the fact that it was holding her back: she constantly undervalued her own natural talent for her chosen specialty. By releasing this self-judgment she experienced an immediate jump in her self-confidence.
  3. Freedom from limiting assumptions. “It’s impossible to hire someone right now.” The underlying assumption that was quickly revealed was that it’s very expensive to hire someone. Once this assumption was exposed, the business owner quickly thought of several inexpensive alternatives so she could get help quickly.

Asking yourself “What have I decided is impossible?” is the key step. When you don’t explore whatever you’ve decided is impossible, these beliefs remain restrictive limitations. Once you call them forth consciously, you transform them into intentional actions that energize you and your business!