Mary Cravets

No Matter How Good it Is…

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I recently discovered a very sneaky saboteur in my mind.

I was putting together a coaching program and kept tweaking and tweaking and tweaking it, the whole time thinking, “How can I make it so that EVERYONE will want this?” So I kept improving, adding things, adjusting the price, the timing, the deliverables. And then it hit me…

No matter how good a program is, it will NEVER be something that EVERYONE will want. EVER.

Now why is this SUCH a good thing to realize? Because if I’m aiming for a target that I will NEVER hit, I’m setting myself up for failure. It is paralyzing, and it reminds me of a Bill Cosby quote:

“I don’t know the key to success, but I know that the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”

So how do you stay out of that analysis paralysis? Here are a few things I’m doing:

  1. Define your ideal client, and create your business to serve them.
  2. If someone says “That’s too expensive,” you either are not explaining the value correctly, or this is just one of the “no’s” you have to go through to get to your “yes’s”!
  3. Work on expressing your value by making your offer to A LOT of people.
  4. Focus on the service you’re giving, not the money you need to get out of others.
  5. Blog about it.

We all want to be of service. We all create value for others. The key is to offer that value to others. If you’re not doing that, then you are actually not being of service at all.

Clarity and My Deep, Dark Secret

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Yesterday I received an email from a friend I made 20 years ago. She was updating our whole group about how she was doing in Canada.

I replied back and joked how the year we spent together probably spurred all of my back problems. And it got me thinking…

You see, when I was traveling with this group, we carried around 23 tons of stage equipment. Lights, sound, sets – you name it. It was a huge production, and here’s the kicker – we were also our own roadies. 100 twenty-somethings setting up at 2pm and striking the set at 11pm again and again across the US, Canada, Mexico and Australia.

As I wrote to my friend I recalled how I really hated setting up and taking down the set. No surprise, right? But what I also remembered is that I took a turn on “truck crew”, where I was stationed on the semi with half dozen other people and we facilitated the unloading and the careful reloading of the truck.

This was the toughest job. Helping everyone work together, getting things out in the right order, and then making them all fit back into the truck in the middle of the night after a day of set up, rehearsal, community service and performing.

Working on the truck crew was physically harder, but for some reason it seemed easier than the other part of set up – carting things off the truck and setting up sound one day, lights the next, speaker stacks the next, risers the next. Why do you think I found it easier?

It’s because I had a specific, clearly defined role and a specific, clearly defined goal. I knew where to be, what was expected, and what the end result would look like. The organized heavy lifting was easy compared to the chaotic lighter work.

Can you relate? Work becomes so much easier when you know where you going, and what is expected of you. My theme of clarity for the year is obviously shining into the recesses of my memory.

Ok, so my deep dark secret? The group I traveled with is the multi-national goodwill performing and service group often maligned on the David Letterman Show and parodied on The Simpsons – Up With People.

And, NO, I will not sing the theme song for you.

New Year’s Overwhelm

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A few years back, I started selecting a theme for the new year. For instance, when I’d experienced a lot of turmoil the prior year, I chose simply “stability”. The following year, I chose “strength”. I kept the theme in front of me over the course of the year, and always ended up truly embodying the theme I chose. It’s turned into a wonderful tool.

But this year, I have to admit that I’m stumped. There are so many things I want to embody this year. Health, balance, profitability, focus, generosity, support, joy, growth – all great themes, but for some reason I can’t choose.

Remarkably, instead of stewing about this, I recalled two simple lessons that always help relieve the pressure of feeling pulled in too many directions at once. In case you’ve got a case of “New Year’s Overwhelm,” I’ll share them with you.

  1. Instead of forcing the issue – pause.
  2. Ask others for help.

If you’re willing, please post your theme for the year. I always value your insightful comments, and expect that you’ll provide some of the clarity I’m looking for.

Happy New Year!

Contradiction?

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I absolutely love the TED Talk that I’ve included in this post. It’s all about how the ability to delay gratification is a key characteristic in successful people. The video shares a powerful perspective, and is guaranteed to make you laugh (wait until you see a 5 year practically inhale a marshmallow!).

I’d love it if you’d watch the video, then answer the question that follows about a contradiction that’s been bothering me!

https://youtu.be/0mWc1Y2dpmY

So here’s the question. If delaying gratification is a key to success, how do you resolve its apparent contradiction to one of my favorite mantras – “Carpe Diem!”?

Leveraging Old Tapes

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Today, while in my favorite thinking place (the shower), I was getting more and more stressed out. Thoughts raced through my head, “There’s not enough time. I don’t do enough marketing. I don’t have enough events…”

Understand that the “not enough” theme is the most damaging old tape that runs through my head. In good times, I’m conscious of it and can manage it, but in times of stress, it induces panic.

But today something great happened. My crazy self-talk was halted by an unexpected voice of reason.

It said, “Wait a minute. Not enough? Ok… in other words, I’d like more. So how do I get more? Be grateful for what I have, be open to receive more, and get to work on the things that are in alignment with these thoughts.”

A much nicer way to express “not enough”, don’t you think?

I’d be curious to hear about your “old tapes”, and how you can leverage them to work for you, rather than having them hold you back!

That’s a Little Better…

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One of my favorite books is The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen. It is a fabulous book about how small actions taken consistently over time lead to big results. I’ve seen the results in my own life of how true this is! And I recently came up with a simple way to add consistent improvement, as well as consistent action, to each day.

I was about to head out to the store, and thought, “I’ll take my vitamins later.” Which really means, “I won’t take my vitamins today.”

Then the gentle thought popped into my head, “Can I do this a little better?” The answer, of course, was simple: take the vitamins now.

Revolutionary, right? Well, no, maybe not. But it hit me that this is a great phrase to help keep me on the path of continuous improvement, without getting overwhelmed by it all. If it’s that simple, why don’t we do this more?

Well, in the moment, “a little better” seems insignificant. What is walking an extra 5 minutes going to do? What is adding vegetables going to get me? How is calling one more client going to change my income? Why should I be kind to the grocery clerk?

We want instant gratification, but that’s not what this is about. The results of continuous improvement come over time. Walking a little more allows you move more freely, and keep up with grandkids. Eating veggies can keep you healthier later in life. Calling your clients can build a support team of raving fans who make your business operate like a well-oiled machine because they consistently refer to you. Being kind lifts up everyone around you.

When you look to do just a little better in every situation, your actions are not dramatic, but in the end, the results ARE revolutionary.

So keep the phrase in mind – “Can I do this a little better?” Walk for 5 more minutes. Eat extra veggies. Call one more client. Offer a kind word when none is required.

Can you see how this could be revolutionary in your life?