Mindset

Three Ways to Make the Impossible Work FOR You

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Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 1.04.08 PM“What have you decided is impossible?”

This is the question I asked an audience of entrepreneurs recently, and was delighted by the responses. The “impossible” answers started out as limitations, but quickly blossomed into:

  1. Creation of healthy boundaries. “It’s impossible to do it all myself.” This was shared by a business owner who realized this impossibility early in her business. It spurred her to action to find support people to help with her responsibilities as a wife, mother and entrepreneur.
  2. Release of self-judgment. “It’s impossible for me to be a litigator.” An experienced estate-planning attorney voiced this in an apologetic tone, as if litigation was the only truly credible law specialty. By saying this out loud, she realized her false assumption, and the fact that it was holding her back: she constantly undervalued her own natural talent for her chosen specialty. By releasing this self-judgment she experienced an immediate jump in her self-confidence.
  3. Freedom from limiting assumptions. “It’s impossible to hire someone right now.” The underlying assumption that was quickly revealed was that it’s very expensive to hire someone. Once this assumption was exposed, the business owner quickly thought of several inexpensive alternatives so she could get help quickly.

Asking yourself “What have I decided is impossible?” is the key step. When you don’t explore whatever you’ve decided is impossible, these beliefs remain restrictive limitations. Once you call them forth consciously, you transform them into intentional actions that energize you and your business!

23 Tips for When Everything Goes Sideways

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FlowersA lot of the people in my life have two things in common right now:

  1. They declared in no uncertain terms that 2015 is their break through year.
  2. Nothing is going the way they planned.

The truth is that when you make a declaration of sweeping change and are serious about it, things get weird. What you’ve been doing doesn’t work anymore. Things you’ve counted on for years fall away. Clients leave.

It can make you seriously question your sanity.

When you’re questioning everything you’re doing, everything you’re thinking, and everything you’ve ever done, listen to anyone other than yourself. In this crazy space, you will have nothing kind and nothing constructive to contribute.

I gathered opinions and compiled the constructive tips, as well as some fun and silliness to help you through the weirdness.

  1. I call you, my Business Coach!
  2. A big chair in my living room, a warm cotton blanket, a cup of tea and a book that has no redeeming social value, so I can just escape.
  3. Prayer first, wait…reassess, create new plan, review then implement!
  4. A deep breath, love the situation no matter what it maybe. Meditatione..and channel in on the good that will come from staying positive.
  5. Pasta…
  6. Take a nap on my purple couch
  7. Prayers of gratitude because so many things are still going “right”. Then, some old school ’80’s dance music cranked up while I dance like no one is watching around my house. Next, do I need to create a plan or just let things go because I have no control? Finally, I work at not being in resistance to the way things are because they are what they are, and I make sure to honor my feelings and really FEEL them. If that means I have to take a nap, binge watch TV to escape for awhile or just have a good cry, so be it. Hang in there!
  8. Distance and nature. A quiet walk in the woods (double points if I can hear or see water rushing by) and counting out my gratitudes.
  9. LOL! Actually, I take a step back (literally) and find some perspective elsewhere.
  10. Dark chocolate and prayer…not necessarily in that order.
  11. Milk Duds
  12. Napping.
  13. Meditation. Exercise. Yoga. Dark chocolate.
  14. Mary Cravets the biggest thing that changed my life is when you said, “focus on what you have accomplished”..and ” if you think it will be easy, it will” I use these DAILY! And boy, has it had an impact! I adore you.
  15. Pray
  16. Take a nap. Lol!
  17. A deep breath, crunchy snacks, and writing out a list which then gets prioritized
  18. Chocolate.
  19. PRAYER!
  20. Go to bed…. everything looks better in the morning light.
  21. disconnect completely. Don’t try to make it work. Next, meditate, read (productive things like LOA), journal – what’s the lesson to be learned? what within me needs to change?
  22. Popcorn and a chick flick!
  23. Sit. Don’t touch anything. Hands off everything! Do you thing it usually entails things breaking and dropping? Yes. So just stop. Get a glass of cold water. Rest. And realize that its telling me to stop for day.

Thank you to: Joseph Gerace, Judy Helm Wright, Dianne Schmidt Kelley, Rosalynn Moreno-Perez, Cecelia Jernegan, Shannon Presson, Jane Garee, Candy Sugarman, Barbi Richter Holdeman, Michelle Sala Radtke, Rebecca Paul Hill, Mallie Rydzik, Jaymie Meyer, Sandra Ahrens, Martha Knight, Sara Harrie, Shalet Abraham, Stephanie Belvin Hopson, Sumiko Glenn, Deb Boulanger, Carrie Sharpshair, Becca Tokarczyk.

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Align Your Dollars

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I have a really simple tip for the week. It’s such a little thing that I almost decided not to share it. But I’m noticing that it is precisely these little things –  the tiny habits & fears – that get overlooked, and they keep us stuck.

During the Clarity Sessions I do for prospective clients, I always ask about income goals. They invariably answer that they’d like to make a six figure income. Or $50,000 per year. Or $250,000 per year.

Then I ask about their current income. And they answer $2,000 per month. Or $1,500 per month. Or $4,000 per month.

Do you see the disconnect? The goal is a yearly number, and the current income is a monthly one.

So here is the tip of the week, and it is ridiculously simple: Think of your current income and your goal income in the same time frames. Get your thinking in alignment, and you make it easier for the money to follow.

What will they think?

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rearviewmirror1

As I was patiently waiting for traffic to clear so I could make a left turn, I felt a little pang of anxiety and looked in my rear view mirror to see if I was holding anyone up.

Really? I’m an experienced driver. I know how to navigate the risks of cross traffic. And yet how many times have I jumped out into traffic sooner than I’m comfortable, out of the fear that I’m holding someone else up?

Ridiculous. Worried about what someone else might be thinking, and then acting against my own best instincts.

Made me think that it would be a good idea to keep that worry in check, in all aspects of my life.

Quite a neat little lesson from a quick drive, don’t you think?

Imaginary Obstacles

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Obstacles

I was working with a client recently to create an action plan to get him to his goals quickly. We boiled it all down to simple steps, and right away he saw how the whole thing would work. In his words, he was inspired with a plan.

He was so confident, in fact, his next words were, “I’m not sure I can handle all the business this will create. I’d better cut back on the actions a little so I’m not overwhelmed.”

WHOA. What happened? A sneaky form of self-sabotage, that’s what.

When faced with a plan that will quadruple his income, he was immediately thrust WAY outside his comfort zone. Concerns about the challenges of a business four times the size of the one he has now triggered a subtle self-sabotage.

His saboteur immediately threw up obstacles. IMAGINARY OBSTACLES that would prevent him from taking the actions necessary to achieve his goals.

What imaginary obstacles are you placing in your path?

Don’t let the fear of potential problems that might accompany success hold you back. Create your plan in alignment with your goals and values. Be consistent about implementing the plan. Track your results. And tackle the problems as they come, rather than anticipating imaginary ones that sabotage your success.

A shameless plug, but appropriate here – if you want to avoid this mental gunk, get a coach who stops saboteurs in their tracks!

Reality check about simplifying

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SimplifyI know a lot of people are in the mode of simplifying right now, myself included. And even though simplifying can eventually rocket you into a Zen-like state, the process sometimes makes you want to tear your hair out!

I’ll give you an example. Have you ever organized a messy closet? Here’s what it looks like:

  1. You can’t take the chaos anymore, and decide you’re going to organize the closet.
  2. You pull everything out. It now looks worse (WAY worse) than when you started.
  3. You start thinking that it didn’t really look that bad to start with, and wonder what possessed you to take on this stupid project in the first place.
  4. You go to Starbucks to refuel.
  5. You come back and start madly sorting into piles.
  6. You start to see some organization in the chaos.
  7. Tired and sweaty, you put away what is left.
  8. You sigh with satisfaction, then post the before and after photos on Facebook to make your friends jealous.

Note that 6 out of 8 steps are messy, frustrating, and have you questioning your sanity. They are exactly the times when you will feel like giving up. But the truth is, if you give up in the middle of the process, you’re going to be in far worse shape than when you started!

The point is, if your business, life, or closet is messy right now, keep going or it’s going to just get worse. Here are some tips to keep you going through the chaos:

  1. When simplifying anything, don’t expect to go from zero to Zen in an hour.
  2. If it’s messy, know that you’re not doing things wrong, you’re just in midst of the natural process.
  3. When you feel like giving up, rest and refuel. Eat, nap, call a friend or coach.
  4. Know deep down that giving up will create greater chaos that you started with.
  5. Keep an eye on your goal.
  6. Acknowledge your successes, and reward yourself.

What will you simplify next? Want help? Go to www.SimpleIsTheNewBrilliant.com.