Here’s the aha: I’ve been exhausting myself aiming for huge goals that I don’t care about.
During my month in Prague, I read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fig* by Mark Manson. The timing of the book was excellent because I was pretty worn out by navigating in a foreign country and my defenses were down.
I got to the chapter of the book titled “You Are Not Special,” and read the following passage:
“The ticket to emotional health, like that to physical health, comes from eating your veggies – that is, accepting the bland and mundane truths of life: truths such as “Your actions actually don’t matter that much in the grand scheme of things” and “The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy, and that’s ok.” This vegetable course will taste bad at first. Very bad. You will avoid accepting it.
But once ingested, your body will wake up feeling more potent and more alive. After all, the constant pressure to is something amazing, to be the next big thing will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of always feeling inadequate and constantly needing to prove yourself will dissipate. And the knowledge and acceptance of your own mundane existence will actually free you to accomplish what you truly wish to accomplish, without judgment or lofty expectations.”
And it was like a weight had been lifted. Because somewhere along the line I had started taking on elements of other people’s visions of grand exceptionalism.
People like Gary Vaynerchuk, Brad Burchard, Tony Robbins. (people I don’t care about)
Visions of luxury world tours and millions and mansions. (visions I don’t care about)
Lifestyles of hustle and glittering peak performance and nonstop stratospheric achievement. (lifestyles I don’t care about)
I was exhausted by how high the bar was set… and it wasn’t even my bar!
I have a very specific vision for my business. A vision that aligns with my values. A vision of work that positively impacts the lives of others. Work that allows me to earn exactly the money to live in a nice home, eat good food, be with my family, travel, have savings and retirement.
I suppose it’s not terribly exciting, but when I sit with it – without comparison to others – I quite like it. I feel relaxed. So…
Why don’t I simply make a difference to the people I can reach easily? Why don’t I just keep doing what’s working? How about instead of doing more, I just do what I do now, but a little better and more focused? Why don’t I relax a little and enjoy the journey?
TRUST.
My vision is good enough.
My efforts are good enough.
My heart is good enough.
Trust my vision.
Trust my efforts.
Trust my heart.
Trust myself.
* My mother reads my blog and despises swearing, so I’ve prioritized her preference above using the real title the author gave the book.
NOTE: I found my extended trip overseas so impactful that I’m doing it again (this time in Ireland) and am taking a small group with me for a Daring Moves Retreat. Email me if you’d like the program details!
Very inspirational! This totally resonated with me and I WILL read the book soon but I love your take on “good enough”. I think we all tend to put unrealistic expectations on ourselves at times but it’s important to take the opportunity to really understand where they’re coming from and to weigh out how much they really do matter, if at all. Thanks for sharing your insights…!