One night recently, while my husband was playing tennis, I secretly watched a documentary on Lady Gaga.
I can’t help myself. I love her music, the dancing, the unapologetic outrageousness.
At one point, as she reflected on some setbacks and not being able to change the past, she said, “You have to leave yourself behind.”
I heard this and instantly experienced a sense of relief. A sense of peace. A sense of deep knowing.
A deep, resounding, “YES.”
Because 2017 has been a year of big growth… and even bigger growing pains.
And suddenly it became clear where these growing pains came from. They came from the times when I let my old worries, my old beliefs, my old ME run the show.
When I let a 2010 version of myself run amok in my business, it’s a freak show of sleepless nights, second-guessing decisions, and poor self-care. A downward spiral where I feel aggravated and exhausted, and the people around me are puzzled by the bedraggled creature in their midst who used to look like Mary.
It’s all the more frustrating because even in these dark places there is a part of me that knows that the ME I am now is accomplished, confident, clear about what she wants.
When I operate from this place, it’s easy to be decisive. It’s easy to say no. It’s easy to invest in self-care. It’s easy to stand up for my value. It’s easy to bet on myself.
And that’s what I want in 2018. More of that ease.
Who’s with me?
Dr. Marta Adelsman says
A big amen to this, Mary, and I’m with you!
This is so timely! I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and how old versions of myself need to be permanently replaced with the me that I am deep inside. The me that has been through it all and came out stronger, brighther, more confident! Hard to get in touch with that person all the time but certainly becomes easier as I learn to slay the fear hat holds me back and remember that the newer me is the right one to listen to!