Today I did something unusual… I opened the door. My front door, that is, to a couple of clean-cut Mormon boys.
Ok, don’t hate me, but when I spy these kind souls through my peephole, I usually quietly watch from behind the door, hoping they’ll simply think no one was home and move along to the next house.
But today, it occurred to me that I knew how to handle this situation with ease and grace, and perhaps a little more dignity than I have in the past. So I took a deep breath, and I opened the door.
I was able to look these young men in the eye, thank them for their good works, and gently disagree. We shared a laugh about an old friend of mine who spent her Mormon mission going to seedy bars in Salt Lake City because, as she put it, “Don’t you think those people need it the most?” Then I wished them well as they moved along to the next house.
Why did I find this situation significant? Because I realized it was good practice for real life. I’m sure I’m not the only person who finds it stressful to be in situations where I disagree or have to say no. But what I know for sure is that when I don’t deal with the situations, the stress internalizes itself. Over time, it builds, it erupts, it causes health problems.
So, is there anything that you are “hiding behind the door” from? Would it be possible to kindly look it in the eye and dismiss it from your life?
Maybe it’s time for you to open the door, too.
Awesome article Mary! I love how personal you are, and how honest. We have all been there. I usually feel like they are taking my time away, putting something else on my to-do list. I’ve had to stop working with a client to answer the door, thinking it might be ups or fed ex.
I tell them I’m jewish and point to the mezuzzah on the doorway, so it’s sort of my “out.”
In my class last night on self love, I said one of the signs of having self love and self esteem is being able to say no when you do not want to do something! No is a perfectly good response that people forget about.
Thanks for the article
If I’m ever too honest, let me know! Hate to over-share in public…
A gentle no, rather than an in-your-face, defensive no is certainly a skill worth cultivating.
I’m with you, Mary! It was yet another opportunity for our awakening. Thanks for sharing.
The Blog Lizard has become my doorway to enjoying working and to thinking that there might be a bit of light on the other side. Sure beats feeling like a Deadbolt or a rusty hinge.
You have SUCH a way with words, Dennis!
Thanks for the reminder …I’m opening my front AND back doors along with all my car doors! 🙂
Sue – you’re doing a great thing… opening doors with a sense of HUMOR!!!
Excellent post, Mary! Congratulations for opening the door, learning a great lesson and teaching us one too. It challenges our courage a bit stepping into these situations, yet we feel so proud when we do, don’t we?
Good stuff!
Cindy
Mary – excellent post! Thanks for sharing this!
Bob