I was talking to my sister the other day about whether I should take the day off on the one-year anniversary of losing my mom. I kept going back and forth – “What if I’m fine? What if I cancel my appointments for nothing?”
Then it hit me: why not just give myself the space to feel whatever I feel? No need to justify it. No need to “prove” I need it. Just take the time.
It felt SO weird. SO unfamiliar.
Like, really? I can just take the day off without an emotional breakdown as the reason? What if I don’t fall apart – then what?
Well, then I can just enjoy it. No guilt. No self-created emotional roller coaster to justify it.
When I shared this with my sister, she asked, “And you know who cares that you’re taking the time off?”
Curious (and, okay, maybe hoping for a little gossip), I asked, “Who?”
She deadpanned: “NO ONE.”
I cracked up. And felt grateful for both the lesson and the perfect exclamation point she put at the end of it all.
I love this Mary!
Ha! So true. And if it’s something that’s already passed, I hope you enjoyed it in whatever state you were in. I love the idea of having our own personal holidays where we get to pay tribute to whatever (and whomever) we decide is important to us. Lotsa love to you on yours.
A nice reminder that we are your own best champions.
Thank you for sharing this Mary … I hope your day is filled with wonderful memories of your Mom.
Wow, thank you for that, Mary! It’s like my prayers were answered.
My mom passed away on April 24th, 2024 (4 days before my birthday) – Lots of 4’s, I know, and although I never take off work for my birthday, I had been pondering taking the day off for the 1-Year Anniversary of my Mom’s passing. I had been going back and forth with my decision; however, after reading you article I immediately went to my calendar and blocked it off for that day, this April.