Mini training time! If you’re succeeding but overwhelmed and racing against the clock every day, you’re going to love this video. Set aside 10 minutes and get ready to take some notes on the 4 keys that will get you through the “messy middle” phase of business!
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Making Peace with Time (low-tech, no cost)
I’ll admit it: I have a troubled relationship with time.
I’m always searching for the perfect way to schedule my calendar. The perfect scheduling tool. The perfect reminder system.
This year I made three simple changes that cost me nothing and make a big difference in how I feel every single day.
- For as long as I can remember, I have hung a one-year dry-erase laminated calendar on the wall that I face while sitting at my desk. Time was literally looming over me. I was facing off with it every single day. So I moved 2024’s calendar behind my office door and filled the space I face with the things that are most important to me: family, pets and inspiration.
- Another long-time practice that I changed is I stopped wearing my Apple watch. Even though I have all the notifications turned off, it was a distraction. I could check the weather, my exercise rings… so many ways to waste a little bit of time here and there. I’ve swapped out the techy nagging device for a watch my Dad gave me one Christmas. It’s sentimental and low tech. Doesn’t even have the date on it.
- With this last one, I may be veering into the neighborhood of TMI, but an idea from my fab time management coach Lisa Crilley Mallis of Impactive Strategies, I go to the downstairs bathroom instead of the one right next to my office. A mini-break from my day.
I’ll wrap up with this thought: when you have a busy life and business, making huge sweeping changes is hard. And then maintaining them? Almost impossible. So while these 3 changes might seem too small to actually make a difference, the power behind them is that they are sustainable.
Cure a Crowded Calendar: 46 Ways to Say NO
At the end of each year, I look ahead and strategize ways to make sure I don’t overload my calendar and spread myself too thin.
This year the answer came through loud and clear: say NO to substandard opportunities.
I ran this by a few of my peers and the response was a resounding, “Yesssssss… but how do I do that?”
Because the truth is, you need an arsenal of “no” responses to handle the wide variety of situations you encounter on a daily basis. So I compiled a list of suggestions (including unexpected but appreciated neurodivergent perspectives) from my online community in order to support you to say no to any substandard opportunities that come your way. I’ve left in duplicates for emphasis!
First, a Little Fun
1. Janet: 🤣
2. Diane: Write “no” across the top of your calendar for every day of the week. Tell the person asking you to do the favor “just a minute, I have to check my calendar”. Come back and say, “I’m sorry but my calendar says no.” 😂
3. Mary Sue: Unfortunately, I can’t take on any unpaid work to help you make money at this time. Thanks for thinking of me though.
Direct, Brief Responses
4. Tina: No. I use it just as it is.
5. Heather: No.
6. Kathy: NO
7. Lisa: No. 🤪🤪✊
8. Kimble: Nope.
9. Eric: Nope.
10. Gioia: It seems to me that “No” is simple and to the point. There is no need to say anything more.
11. Kelley: It’s in the delivery. Breathe so you’re grounded. And then let it come from your heart. And if you really want no objection, make it about how you feel. Nobody can argue with how you feel.
Work or Commitment Requests
Stella:
12. That’s not a priority for me right now.
13. I’m not interested at this time.
14. That doesn’t work for me at the moment.
15. I’m not in a spot to say yes right now.
16. I’d love to help out where it makes sense, but this seems out of scope for me at the moment.
17. I don’t have the bandwidth to take on anything new right now.
18. I’m really prioritizing my mental health and wellbeing right now.
19. I’m downsizing my commitments for next year in order to have a more sustainable work-life balance.
20. I promised myself I’d say no to things that don’t light me up.
21. I recognize the need, but I don’t know that I’m the one to fill it.
Neurodivergent Perspectives
22. Dave: As a busy and neurodivergent person, anything other than short and sweet gets intuitively processed as unclear or a “maybe.” Folks need to put effort in for me not to understand a clear no as anything but kind. I’m grateful for: No, Not now, Another time (I may try to set that up), A referral.
23. Heather: My son is autistic and has a particular flavor that doesn’t respond to no – and I think that opens up an entire other conversation too. His teachers every year would be like; “we will teach him” and mid-year they are like “ok, we concede, he doesn’t register no and cannot accept it” and I’m like yep- welcome to the party.
24. Brooke: I’m an ADHDer and I am so, so grateful when people speak plainly and directly. I simply do not understand indirect communication styles. So, yes, if you mean “no” please just say “no”.
Personal or Social Situations
25. Jim: Please don’t waste your time, this isn’t going to happen. (Persistent missionaries at the doorstep)
26. Amy: When my then boyfriend / now husband was moving too fast in our early days: “Let’s save that for later.” We still talk about that 😊
27. Melanie: I appreciate your ….. this phrasing also works instead of saying I’m sorry….. It turns it into asking them to understand rather than you apologizing.
28. Jamie: Since my toddler no longer hears NO… I say – that’s not an option right now. Might work on adults who also don’t hear the word no (aka parents or siblings).
No with Appreciation
29. Linda: Thank you for asking but my answer must be no.
30. Carolyn: “Thank you for understanding that I just don’t have the capacity to say yes (or room on my plate or my plate already runneth over, etc…).” Use ‘thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’ when declining.
31. Shanna: Thank you but no. Good luck on your search.
32. Kathleen: “I cannot say yes, but thanks for asking.”
33. Andrea: I’m not comfortable with that right now. I’m sure you understand.
34. Lisa: Thank you for asking, I truly am flattered. However, I must decline. I don’t have the capacity at this time to do your request justice.
35. Lorie: Thank you for reaching out. I’m not able to help right now but I appreciate you thinking of me!
36. Cindy: Thanks for asking. I don’t think I’m the right fit for this right now. Might I suggest…. (someone else who could do the job).
37. Ashley: It sounds like an awesome opportunity but I’m overextended for the foreseeable future.
Kristen: I like to share that I have no capacity…
38. I do not have capacity for anything new and don’t foresee that changing anytime soon.
39. I appreciate you asking and I don’t have capacity for that.
40. I am already overwhelmed with so much going on, I am going to have to say no.
41. I am behind on other projects right now and I like to keep my commitments so I am not making any more.
42. I am going to have to say no to stay in integrity with myself.
43. Lelia: No…it works every time. No need for reasons why. You can always add, thank you for thinking of me
44. Claire: I hear you and thank you, but the answer has to be no
45. Cindy: Thank you for asking but I must decline.
Firm Responses
46. Jim: A lot of responses from nice people that probably don’t have a lot of sales experience. The persistent salesperson has heard it all. Too many words just have them waiting to pounce. You need to punch them squarely in the nose. Nicely. ‘Not happening’ No rationalization or justification. Blam. Give them no hope you might engage. They will appreciate it and move on. You’re being nice.
Special thanks to Big Impact Business Owners and Coaches Creating CommUnity for their generous and thoughtful contributions to this list.
Creativity & Chaos: What I Learned this Year
Raise your hand if you have a creative streak. Or crave variety. Or love adventure and new experiences.
Most business owners have their hand up right now, because we all know how creative you have to be to run a business.
But at the same time, all that creativity can create chaos if isn’t channeled and focused on doing the RIGHT jobs in your business. Check out some examples in this 3 minute video, then let me know your experiences!
My “Ripple Effect” Vision
As warm and fuzzy as this is, bringing a vision to life requires some structure. Luckily, that’s my superpower. So if you’d like to learn the foundational structure for client attraction in a way that feels genuine, please feel free to join my “More Clients, Less Marketing” workshop. You can join for free any month!
How to Ditch the Pressure of “Now or Never”
At the end of the year, all I hear about is closing the year strong and creating a mind-blowing plan for 2024.
It is so much pressure, and I was starting to crack from the stress of it all. Here’s a 90 second tip where I share what I did to release the pressure fast!