Guest Post

“I can’t believe she didn’t hire me!” – Guest post by Lisa Crilley Mallis of Impactive Strategies

April 7, 2021 by Guest Post 2 Comments

Recently while scrolling in Facebook, I noticed a post from a colleague who had just hired a coach – not just any coach, but one who does almost exactly the same work I do.

My first thought? “I can’t believe she didn’t hire me!”

My second thought? “I can’t believe she didn’t hire me!”

And finally, I got that sick feeling in my stomach and thought, “Oh my goodness, why didn’t she hire me???” I mean, we’d had conversations about some of her challenges with time management and productivity, yet she hired someone else.

So I put on my big girl panties and sent her an email inviting her to chat for a few minutes.

When we jumped onto Zoom, I looked her in the eye and said, “I just have to ask…I saw that you’d hired a coach. What was it that drew you to that coach?”

She looked at me and replied, “I wanted to hire you, but you never asked, so I figured you were too busy!”

OK, so I was mortified.

She is exactly the type of client I love to work with, and I just assumed (silly me!) that when she was ready, she would reach out and ask to work with me.

See, that’s NOT how it works!

So, I’m wondering: what are the questions you haven’t asked, just assuming that people are too busy to help you?

Maybe you can ask someone to take your social media posting off your plate to free your time for tasks that are in your Zone of Genius.
Maybe you can ask someone to teach you Timular time tracking software so you can find extra pockets of time in your day.
Maybe you can ask for someone to help organize your receipts so tax time is a breeze.

The lesson?

You can’t get what you want if you don’t ask!!

I challenge you today to ask for what you want and need!

By: Lisa Crilley Mallis – Impactive Strategies

That ONE bad experience

February 25, 2021 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

A big part of keeping the strategy of speaking gigs running smoothly is to confirm (sometimes more than once) that you have ALL the right details for an event, time, date, venue (aka Zoom link), etc, etc.

And confirming is very simple… or at least it sounds that way.

The reality of it is you’re not dealing with a computer that will give you a Yes or No response when you reach out to it. There’s a human being involved… and they won’t always respond the way you expect them to.

Recently I interacted with an unresponsive event organizer who was not thrilled with our process. After several interactions where we were all getting increasingly frustrated, we mutually decided to cancel the speaking gig. NOT an ideal outcome, and it left me feeling stung.

But my attitude at that point was to put it all behind me, be grateful for the great way Mary and the rest of the team handled the situation and just learn from it.

That is until I got an email from another event organizer on the very same week.

This organizer didn’t really see the point to filling out the form we use to confirm event details, almost following the script from that last disappointing experience. So, you can imagine why I thought another unfortunate outcome was on its way.

To make matters worse, after rescheduling a call to explain things for the second time, she finally decided to provide details via Zoom… but then didn’t show up.

I was starting to give up hope, but then I decided to use one of the best tools Mary has given me: the power of a short Loom video.

I recorded a quick video on why the form was important for us to prepare and why it was also helpful for her as an organizer. I sent it and wished for the best.

The very next day I got the notification that she submitted the form and, to top things off, a very nice email with an apology and just an overall tone that restored my faith in humanity (or at least in event organizers).

The whole experience was really an eye opener that left me with these 3 takeaways:

Assume the best instead of hope for the best. The whole “assume the worst and hope for the best” philosophy can be dangerous when it starts to determine your expectations. By “hoping for the best” you’re opening the possibility in your mind for something to go wrong, and it sets your brain into that problem solving mode that consumes time and energy… when there isn’t even a problem to solve yet! Assuming the best means truly believing that things will turn out alright, and letting the situation unfold without feeling anxious about the outcome.
Let perspective keep you from being on guard. Out of the hundreds of regular, and sometimes very positive, experiences I’ve had with event hosts, I let this single one affect me so much that it actually conditioned my response. At the first glance of trouble I immediately put my shields up. The good will almost always outweigh the bad, but we focus so much on negative feelings we lose perspective and end up getting defensive to protect ourselves from ever feeling that way again.
Get yourself a good team and just… laugh it out. I could talk about the importance of a good support system and having someone to count on, but to me one of the biggest parts of having a team of people around you is to be able to look at a crappy situation, do your best to tackle it, and then just crack jokes about it. There’s nothing like a little sense of humor to let go of frustration and just make the best out of cards you have.

By: Luciana Bottini – Mary’s assistant

[Guest Post] Lessons learned from the 2008 Global Financial Crisis – and How They Apply Today

May 4, 2020 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

Contributed by: Jane Garee, Sales Strategist

I knew the world economic free fall of 2008 would come back to haunt me but I am more grateful for it than I can say.

In 2008, I was in the thick of the financial meltdown. I was enjoying a successful career as a mortgage broker, in south Florida, and between the warm sunny days, doing work that I felt mattered and the life I had created over the past eleven years, I felt as if the world was my oyster.

Then it happened. The crash of ’08.

Or as I later described the situation; the market crashed and then I crashed with it.

I lost everything and moved from my initial state of shock to one of utter despair. It was years before I was able to turn things around and it was the most challenging period of my life.

I made a promise to myself that when I regained my footing, I would remember the lessons that period of time had given me, and that I would use that one day to help others.

I don’t know what you’re experiencing in the midst of what’s going on in our world currently. For me, it’s a strange time because there is much I am personally thankful for, and there is still the reality of what’s happening.

Frankly, there are days when I feel guilty for thriving right now, when others are struggling to survive. I keep looking for ways to do what I can to provide support and am grateful that my business allows me to have the time and resources to contribute, even if it is small on the grand scale of creating change.

I wish I could give you some sort of bumper sticker wisdom that would make everything okay.

You know, “This too will pass”, “Tough times make tough people”, “’ Your true colors are showing’ used to mean your disposition, now it’s about your hair” (okay, I made that up to insert some levity).

I know I can’t say anything to magically make things better. However, I do want to share with you three coping strategies I learned during the fallout of 2008.

The power is in the present

One of the most life-changing mind shifts for me, was when I realized that in this moment, I am okay. If you focus on right now, all your basic needs are being met, there’s no threat of imminent danger, you have people who love and support you, and you are alive, with a mind and body that works. Stress comes from dredging up the past or worrying about the future. Neither is productive. The past is gone, and you don’t really know what the future holds. Take a deep breath and be grateful for right now. Miracles are called miracles because they are unexpected. Yours might be coming this very day.

Redefine your long-term plan

You may have realized that planning for what’s next is something you’ve taken for granted. Since you don’t know what will be true in the future, redefining your long-term plan to something more manageable can be helpful.

When I was struggling in 2008, my Dad told me that I needed to redefine what long term planning was and that a good long-term plan due to current circumstances, might be getting through that day. That helped me get through the pain and uncertainty by setting a goal that seemed infinitely easier to accomplish than a vague, “I will get through this.” On really bad days, I would often say to myself, “My long- term plan is to just get through the next fifteen minutes.” Savoring small chunks of victory can help fuel you to keep going.

Disappointment is not discouragement

It can be soul-crushing when experiencing traumatic events and being in a situation that is out of your control. The fear, pain and sadness are real, and it’s profound.

Although disappointments in life are inevitable, discouragement is a choice.

Discouragement is the false belief that everything is hopeless, and you are unable to do anything about your situation. While hope may not be a plan, it is the thing that drives you to get up and keep going.

Discouragement loves nothing more than to tell you there is no hope, and that you are a victim, tossed around by the cruel winds of life. Even when you can’t immediately change your circumstances, the hope that you can, is what will keep you going. There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope.” On my darkest days, I would ponder that. If you’re truly a prisoner, there’s no escape. What would it be like to be unable to escape from hope?

My hope for you is that today, just for a moment, you take in that moment and not let any disappointment turn into discouragement. Unsettling times like these can also lead to big mood swings so if you’re having a day where the future feels full of promise, reach out to someone who isn’t and see how you can be an encouragement.

I normally end my posts with, “To your selling success” but today, I want to close with,

To your success, and in all the ways that truly matter,

Jane

Jane Garee, known as “The Sales Strategist for the Non Sales Person” works with clients so they serve more people, make more money and realize their biggest dreams through their impact and influence, all while having FUN.

With over twenty years of sales production, sales training and sales team management experience, Jane is an award-winning salesperson, known for breaking revenue records and providing leadership and training to individuals and sales teams so they do the same. Prior to striking out on her own, she quickly worked her way up the ranks to Brand/Area Sales Manager with two different billion-dollar companies and was recruited to open the South Florida area for one of Inc 500’s Fastest Growing Companies.

Her dynamic and comprehensive sales background in one-on one sales conversations, copy writing, workshops and selling through speaking presentations bring exceptional knowledge and expertise to clients who desire a collaborative partner in creating higher conversions and building better buyer relationships throughout the entire sales process.

[Guest Post] Ultimately the Analogy Falls Short for Me

February 3, 2020 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

I decided my word of the year would be failure. I kept fairly quiet about it because, who does that?

It’s a funny thing. Kind of like when you decide to buy a Honda Accord in Lunar Silver Metallic, and you start seeing Honda Accords in Lunar Silver Metallic everywhere. A friend posted her word of the year in our mastermind: Failure. Then another. Other friends texted me quotes about winning being the result of many failures. Failure was everywhere.

As a recovering perfectionist, I’m working to not avoid failure. But it’s one thing to get it intellectually. Like when people say, “What if a baby stopped trying to walk because she failed the first time?” Well sure, but the baby has a low center of gravity so it doesn’t really hurt. Plus, people are standing around cheering and clapping for her, even when she falls.

Not to mention, it’s expected. The baby isn’t given X number of tries and then we give up on her.

Ultimately the analogy falls short for me. Humans evolved to walk.

But there’s a critical take away: the muscle strength, coordination and balance gained by falling (failing) and getting back up – many times – is what made it eventually possible for each of us to walk.

Here are three ways I’m working with my clients – and myself – to build the strength we need to get from failure to win:

Determine what muscles have atrophied. Or, where you need to strengthen muscles that you never knew you had (like how you feel the day after a strenuous workout). Failing is an opportunity to see what we’re missing. What information, strategies or support do you need to build those muscles so that you succeed?
Because we’ve evolved to avoid danger, failing feels uncomfortable. So, plan for it. I prepare my clients that losing weight will bring discomfort. They make peace with difficult feelings, rather than give into the temptation to blot it out (e.g. the urge to snack at night in front of the TV). When you’re willing to feel discomfort and move through it, anything is possible.
Self-flagellation is the worst response to failure. Have compassion for what you’ve been through, for the discomfort you feel…be kind to your “sore muscles.” Then, have good conversations with yourself. Ones that are helpful and serve your highest good. Asking “What can I change to get a better result?” is so much better than asking “What’s wrong with me?” There’s no good answer to that last one.

Avoiding failure means never really going after what you want. And to me, that’s the worst possible outcome for my life, both in my business and personally.

Professionally, if I’m not willing to pick up the phone and make a request, for example, because it’s too uncomfortable, I’ve already lost. I’d rather have the temporary embarrassment of rejection than the long-term angst of wondering “what if…?” Personally, when I set out to see what’s possible, I’m amazed at the results. Being willing to do hard things is the best thing that happened to my body and my health.

The thing is, you and I are only familiar with what’s possible in our past, so we can’t allow that experience to define – to limit – what’s possible for our future. Saying “I can’t lose weight, build a successful business, grow a large following… because I tried it before and it didn’t work” is nonsense. The only way to our goals is through failure. And the more we’re willing to experience it, the better our results.

Heather Moreno is a weight loss coach who helps women stop agonizing over diets and break the patterns that hold them back from losing weight. Her greatest desire is for her clients to enjoy food, love life, and feel like themselves again. Download her free 10 Hacks to Start Losing Weight and Feeling Better.

The not-so-literal way to choose images for blog posts and marketing.

October 19, 2014 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

Contributed by Guest Blogger, Rachel Vane

I tend to be a silly, but serious person. Seriously.

Sometimes I’m crippled by it and how literal and/or exact I feel need to be. Do you know of what I speak?

When you set out innocently enough to find an image for a blog post or to post on Facebook and you get all caught up in it being the “perfect” image to go with the text?

Next thing you know an hour is gone while you scour stock image sites. And then you get fed up and end up with a weird stock claymation-looking illustration version of a guy holding a red puzzle piece because your post is about figuring out how to do some and a puzzle piece kind goes with figuring something out, right?

We are inundated by images. So much so, that we’ve nearly stopped stopping to figure out what they actually mean, what they represent and how they effect us.

Some of them, like the claymation stock guy, seem off somehow, but we’re not sure why. (Psst… because he’s Generic, with a capital G.)
Others blend in so much to all the noise around us, we barely notice they’re there.

And then there’s the one’s that hit us. We stop for a second. All the rest of the noise seems to be gone for a second and it’s just us and that image.

Now, I’m not saying that every image for your blog posts need to be that hard-hitting, stop-and-make-you-think image. But I am saying you need to stop and think about it.

And there is a much smarter, saner way to find images for your marketing and blog posts – and that is called a brand. Once you know your why, who you’re talking to and your “tone of voice” – all images have a staring point. Then, it doesn’t really matter if the image “matches” the topic of your post.

What matters is if the voice of your brand is being used – to help ground every damn thing you put out.

Using images is about consistency and that’s way more important that being literal.

The easiest way to think about this when you’re not really good with understanding a visual tone – is to use it like a “theme”.

For example… my brand tone + values seem a bit scattered and feel more abstract. They are: honesty, silly/fun, reflective, striving, community/family.

But my theme to show those abstract concepts is much more straightforward: I use mainly images of me and/or my family. Done.

Now every time I write a new post or am creating new marketing, I know where to look for my images. And there are not 1000′s of them to search through. So, I don’t go insane looking for the “perfect” image. I find one that kind of works, crop it and/or add text and then – it’s done.

More importantly, I am reinforcing my brand tone with each and every image, even if the image has nothing to do with the post. Which means I make a lasting impression in your head. Yep, I’m getting in there – whether you like it or not.

If you resonate with my brand values and the images that speak them in my way – you grow to like me more and remember me the next time you hear someone say they need a new website. If you don’t resonate with them, you unsubscribe and we both move on. Sweet, isn’t it?

And the magic part? Once you put that image in your post that doesn’t seem to “fit” – all of a sudden it is seen in the context of the words you’ve written and it seems to take on meaning and completely embody with something you’ve written. And you seem… Brilliant. 🙂

Need help with all this branding stuff? I currently have some consulting sessions open if you’d like to figure out how your tone and values translate visually. Contact me here to schedule one soon.

Rachel helps business owners visually and effectively communicate who they are and what they do, so they authentically connect with the people whose lives they want to change. Business owners tell Rachel the about the soul of their businesses, their goals and then she works with them to bring all that together into designs that make their prospects feel.

Guest Blog: Are You Ever Stressed?

November 8, 2011 by Guest Post 1 Comment

Thank you to Cindy Caldwell who contributed today’s excellent blog!

Did you think “Duh!” when reading the title of this article?

Of course, we all encounter stress. And in the business world, for many it has become more pronounced than ever before. Today I want to provide you with an alternative and a new perspective.

A young lady confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience. With a raised glass of water, everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘half empty or half full?’ She fooled them all.

“How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”*

Most of us know that holding onto stress isn’t good. Being sure to get a good night’s rest is very helpful to managing it. Yet in the fast paced world of business, even after a good night’s sleep, often the stressful moments can get the best of us.

Go here to read another approach to managing stress moment by moment – when the boss drops a bomb on you – or any time the moment changes from normal to stressed.

Have comments? Go to the Elegant Inner Guidance Facebook Fan Page and share your comments and insight.

*Excerpt from an email shared by my friend Jean M.

Cindy Caldwell is an Authentic Happiness Coach/Consultant helping the heart-centered business woman who loves her job but not the corporate world to create a career that resonates with her soul.

Get a FREE 15 min. consulting session at www.ElegantInnerGuidance.com.